Robocop (2014)

Alan Smithee was a fan of the original Robocop (1987), or at least twenty-something Alan Smithee was. This was back when Alan Smithee could remember lines of dialogue from movies, and Robocop contained the memorable command "Bitches leave." One had to resist the urge to bark it at people when entering rooms.

This new iteration received some positive reviews, though why is unclear. Alan Smithee's alert mechanisms should have activated when Mick LaSalle gave it a rave. In general, one tries to do the opposite of what LaSalle recommends, as evidenced by his praise for this lifeless hunk of whatever.

Samuel L. Jackson starts the action with verve, but immediately things don't make sense. Is his right-wing pundit meant to be satirical? Why would footage of a drone killing a knife-wielding child encourage Americans to support drone use? It quickly becomes clear that one must turn off one's brain and try to simply enjoy watching shiny objects flying and exploding, always a difficult task for those over the age of 13.

Some positive comments:
1. Joel Kinnaman shows some of the charisma he brings to The Killing.
2. It's always nice to see Jackie Earle Haley in a film; it reminds one of Breaking Away, and of better days in film.


These 13 seconds are more entertaining than all of Robocop (2014)