Saturday, December 29, 2012

Skyfall (2012)

The reviews for Skyfall were almost unanimously positive, which can only mean one thing: with the continuing decriminalization of marijuana, more people are high than ever.

Skyfall is nothing special. Alan Smithee lost track of the number of times someone had a clear shot of the bad guy and didn't take it (let's discuss things first!). And he was bewildered by the lengthy and boring fight-atop-a-moving-train, the approximately ten-millionth in film history. He also wondered: why did the latest Bond girl have to die (spoiler alert), especially as 007 killed every bad guy in the scene seconds later. Any reason he couldn't do that before the hottie got shot in the head?

Javier Bardem manages to provide some moments of entertainment, but only about 20 minutes worth (out of 143). If, however, you just need a break from the events of your life, Skyfall gives the most minutes per dollar of any current release.

Why did I have to die?

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