A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

Alan Smithee is predisposed neither toward nor against this type of film. He enjoyed the first Harold & Kumar film, but passed on the second. AVH&K3C did not make him laugh much, nor did it give him a Christmassy feeling, two failures he cannot forgive it for.

In the first moments of this film, Kumar jumps into Santa's lap and says to the parents in line "your son will get his chance to rub his ass on Santa's cock in a minute." The joke is only funny in an OMG-he-said-Santa's-cock way, which is to say, not very funny. It's a problem that plagues much of the film. To paraphrase Dr. Waxling in Search and Destroy, "Just because it's outrageous, doesn't mean it's funny." One of the most entertaining moments in the film is when Kumar blows 3D pot smoke into the audience's face. That should tell you something.

Here are some things Alan Smithee liked: Danny Trejo's Christmas fetish; Thomas Lennon's portrait of the nervous father; Neil Patrick Harris as the straight-actor-pretending-to-be-gay. Here's what Alan Smithee didn't like: Paying $16.

Skip AVH&K3C, stay home, and watch Bad Santa again.

Correction: Alan Smithee also liked Jake M. Johnson as Jesus